Category Archives: Uncategorized

TweetToday I have been writing differently than I have in quite some time… I have been sorting out my priorities, resume, and such… I am at that crossroads again, that place that every time I turn seems to be there again… Turn this way, turn that way, and sometimes circle around and around as if on a never ending roundabout looking for the exit… I have been divorced for two years though it feels like last week… I have journeyed through the last few years with very little sight of what lays ahead of me… Every part of me is raw, and desiring to retreat and hide in safety… As … Continue reading →

TweetI get it, you are right… In every moment of every minute, hour, day, you are right… Of course why wouldn’t you be right??? You have lived my every moment, you know my every move, you feel my every feeling, thought, and emotion, how could you possibly be wrong??? I have been told that I am stupid, that I must promise not to do something, that I am a waste of money, I am worthless, I am a princess, I have champagne taste on a beer budget, I spend money like it is water, I am not intelligent, I make poor decisions, I have been on vacation for years, I … Continue reading →

TweetI have a storage unit, a reserved truck, and a date… I am on the move again… This has so been the story in my life… There was a time where I was moving twice a year in my twenties… It has rather been the theme the last couple years as well, between here and England… I have to say I like the person I am when I am in England… I like the freedom of being and doing what I choose, and whatever that looks like there is no reference point, nowhere to say oh well you did it this way last time… This house has been my home … Continue reading →

TweetIt appears I might be quite picky… I really have never considered myself picky; Up until recently I have thought that I was easy going at least for the most part… That I would and did take people and things as they are, that my expectations were few… It seems when given a choice of any kind, I seem to be quite particular; and even at that I often choose none over almost, not quite, or close enough… I know I like things a certain way and have done some unusual stuff in order to get over a lot of that… Such as I have had to cognitively allow my … Continue reading →

TweetWhat part of me sees true love as a Greek tragedy??? Can it be real deep earth shattering love if there are no star crossed lovers??? If everything is beautiful and amazing and no one refuses the others love even when it appears that that love has been dipped into corrosive acid??? Can it be real earth shattering love if it is amazing and beautiful in a way that is so far from amazing or beautiful; instead it is raw, hot, dark, unhappy in places, unkind, messy, compassionate, true??? Is it love if it is two very confused, angry, longing open hearted people coming together to share and shift towards … Continue reading →

Tweet“Half of what I say is meaningless; but I say it so that the other half may reach you.”― Kahlil GibranLove, Love, Love

TweetHave you ever seen anyone die??? I mean have you seen them physically leave this planet??? I have… I watched my Dad choose a very harsh ending to a very difficult unhappy life, seven years ago last week… He assures me it was his choice, and that he got from it the growth he came here for… Not that it was easy to watch, or participate in… I still see his frame so slight, so frail, so completely in pain… So not a pretty place to be… My dad and I were not close in the last years of his life, not that we were all that close before, he … Continue reading →

TweetI have been sharing here, and with those beings in my life very differently than I used to, and even though it seems I am saying similar things over and over, they are each so very different… I have had some old friendships, and many new that have a history from far beyond this life… So it comes up a lot here *when it rains it pours*… I look at a lot of this and see that it appears on the surface that I think everyone is a soul mate, or someone I have known from my past lives… I would say that is because I rarely write about the … Continue reading →

TweetYesterday I spent the whole day writing, this is unusual… I generally get up and do the check my mail, facebook, etc… Then I will write for a couple hours, maybe talk to friends… Though I spoke to with a friend first thing in the morning… I explained to her that I had to write this letter, and I wasn’t sure what to say, or how to say it… I started writing the letter just after I got off the phone at 9:30 and with few interruptions; I continued writing through until nearly 5:00… I had been up off and on throughout the night before with restlessness, a need to … Continue reading →

TweetI talked about you last night… It’s been a while since I let me do that… Instead I try to keep myself busy with others… I do not lay there and think about you in the morning anymore, mostly because I won’t let me… I don’t like that you believe that I am not part of you… I know you have decided to let go for the moment, I figured it would come to that at some point… I don’t like how comforting it was just having you in my energy, even when you chose not to be in my life… I just realized it today, while making coffee… I … Continue reading →