Have you ever seen anyone die??? I mean have you seen them physically leave this planet??? I have… I watched my Dad choose a very harsh ending to a very difficult unhappy life, seven years ago last week… He assures me it was his choice, and that he got from it the growth he came here for… Not that it was easy to watch, or participate in… I still see his frame so slight, so frail, so completely in pain… So not a pretty place to be… My dad and I were not close in the last years of his life, not that we were all that close before, he wasn’t really close to anyone… Up until the last few months before he passed away we had not spoken in years… An old friend is actually the one who told me that he was ill… Clearly you can see I was not close to any of my family… I knew he had health issues for some time; I knew he had had the beginnings of dementia at least five *probably closer to ten*years before his passing… He was however very lucid with me, while I was with him…
My dad died of lung cancer, in a yucky little trailer, surrounded by family… He was on the usual drugs, and taken care of by family and hospice… It was the saddest, hardest thing to watch…
I loved him deeply, despite that he was not my biological father; he was the only father I had known… We were connected in ways that were different from my sisters and brothers, and we believed very similarly about life… A few weeks before his passing I was visiting him and he told me things I had needed to hear from him for so long… There was much hurt, betrayal, abandonment, and anger around our relationship… Really that has been the theme with both my parents, though since his passing I have mended a great deal of that with my mother…
My dad has chosen to be one of my guides now, and has been with me since he passed… I have to say I was really more pissed about it than anything, when I found this out… I was ranting and yelling because he had never been there for me while he was here, why would he choose now to be??? I even spoke to my mother about it and she said he was a very light being and that she was not surprised, however I was surprised she was so kind about him, she was rarely kind while he was here… So in all of this I am truly grateful he stands beside me now, and he is a true gift everyday… Though that little girl still cries for her daddy, and throws a fit that he is not here in the physical…
I know he made his own choices, and I know that what he chose was for his own growth… I know that we each choose for ourselves how we will identify with this life… Knowing all this does not necessarily make it easier… I have been watching lately other people’s choices; especially around illness…
I met this gentleman from New Orleans, while I was away last month… This gentleman was a lovely being trying to create change in the world… He was leading a class called it’s a splendid life… Of course this resonated with me, so I attended his workshop… This man is very ill; you could see and feel it just by being near him… You could feel the years of abuse in his body; he elaborated on all of this during his class as well… He is a gay man in his late 60’s; he has had aids for many years… He was severely beaten all through his childhood… He lives every day with extreme pain from injuries that have never healed properly… He has devoted his life to overcoming as well as teaching others to overcome where they use life’s suffering, as a way to keep from being all that they are, or can be… He has despite all he has been through lived an amazing life… He has had a documentary made about his life… *He also met with and hugged the beautiful Lady Diana shortly before she passed; which he is very proud of*
He had while in his workshop singled me out, in hopes to use my weight as a trigger, to assist in showing others how to implement a new way of thought… I did see me, trigger and went into my access tools to release it… Later in the evening he came up to me, to apologize and explain what he had hoped he would achieve through his comments… I told him that I had simply used the tools I had learned, and asked if he was aware of Access Consciousness??? This is how we started talking over the next few days… I stopped to talk with him the next morning in his booth, and we were discussing the pain he held in his body… I mentioned again the energy work I do, and I offered him a session, and even more, if he was open to having different possibilities??? He replied very honestly with, no; that he took a lot of different prescriptions that would not allow it to work, as well as that he identified with his injuries, illness, and pain in such a way that if they were removed he would not know who he was anymore… This was his choice…
I have had others tell me similar things, that no they are not willing to have any energy work done… Sometimes the energy is that they do not want what feels like it would be a false hope… Other times it is clear that they have used their illness as a way of life, a way to have attention, a way to show their strength and bravery… I totally understand all of this; I have done it for years… Look how strong I am, I have overcome a lot of abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and I could tell you story after story… I have told them, and I can have you wondering how I get out of bed each day… Or I can get out of bed each day… Each is a choice, and yes I am saying it is all a choice… I know that is not a popular thing to say, and I know it tweaks peoples buttons, to say we makes these choices, and that they do not just happen to us… There are those who say; what about babies that are sick??? Every being makes their own choices; they choose their parents, their friends, their partners, their illness, their triumphs, everything… We do not even take a breath without a choice, even when you choose not to choose you have made a choice… Babies are no different, you and I have no idea what choices the being, that is embodied in a baby’s body has made in his or her past life, or what growth they have come here for… Just because the body is small does not mean the being within is new… By no means am I saying that I do not have compassion for the being, or that I would not choose something else for them; I am saying that we all make choices for ourselves, no matter our age or size…
When I tell you my dad chose to be ill, I know that he did, and if I needed confirmation of that, he told me the same thing… What did he get from it??? I have no idea… His words to me were; “he made his choices for himself, and though he was truly sorry for any hurt he may have caused, it was absolutely necessary for his growth as a being”… I like, others ask why would someone choose such a painful exit??? And yet they do every day… We are not privy to the choices of anyone other than ourselves, and it is not possible to truly know why someone makes any choice they make… Even when they tell you why, they often leave out what they either do not believe to be important, or simply do not want you to see…
I would choose for you love, compassion, kindness, ease, and all the joy this life has to offer in every moment, of every day; if you do not choose this for yourself; I honor your choices whatever they are, as I would like you to honor mine…
How does it get even better than that??? What else is possible??? How could this all be better than anything we could ever plan or imagine???