Monthly Archives: July 2013

TweetI have a storage unit, a reserved truck, and a date… I am on the move again… This has so been the story in my life… There was a time where I was moving twice a year in my twenties… It has rather been the theme the last couple years as well, between here and England… I have to say I like the person I am when I am in England… I like the freedom of being and doing what I choose, and whatever that looks like there is no reference point, nowhere to say oh well you did it this way last time… This house has been my home … Continue reading →

TweetIt appears I might be quite picky… I really have never considered myself picky; Up until recently I have thought that I was easy going at least for the most part… That I would and did take people and things as they are, that my expectations were few… It seems when given a choice of any kind, I seem to be quite particular; and even at that I often choose none over almost, not quite, or close enough… I know I like things a certain way and have done some unusual stuff in order to get over a lot of that… Such as I have had to cognitively allow my … Continue reading →

TweetWhat part of me sees true love as a Greek tragedy??? Can it be real deep earth shattering love if there are no star crossed lovers??? If everything is beautiful and amazing and no one refuses the others love even when it appears that that love has been dipped into corrosive acid??? Can it be real earth shattering love if it is amazing and beautiful in a way that is so far from amazing or beautiful; instead it is raw, hot, dark, unhappy in places, unkind, messy, compassionate, true??? Is it love if it is two very confused, angry, longing open hearted people coming together to share and shift towards … Continue reading →

Tweet“Half of what I say is meaningless; but I say it so that the other half may reach you.”― Kahlil GibranLove, Love, Love

TweetHave you ever seen anyone die??? I mean have you seen them physically leave this planet??? I have… I watched my Dad choose a very harsh ending to a very difficult unhappy life, seven years ago last week… He assures me it was his choice, and that he got from it the growth he came here for… Not that it was easy to watch, or participate in… I still see his frame so slight, so frail, so completely in pain… So not a pretty place to be… My dad and I were not close in the last years of his life, not that we were all that close before, he … Continue reading →

TweetI have been sharing here, and with those beings in my life very differently than I used to, and even though it seems I am saying similar things over and over, they are each so very different… I have had some old friendships, and many new that have a history from far beyond this life… So it comes up a lot here *when it rains it pours*… I look at a lot of this and see that it appears on the surface that I think everyone is a soul mate, or someone I have known from my past lives… I would say that is because I rarely write about the … Continue reading →

TweetYesterday I spent the whole day writing, this is unusual… I generally get up and do the check my mail, facebook, etc… Then I will write for a couple hours, maybe talk to friends… Though I spoke to with a friend first thing in the morning… I explained to her that I had to write this letter, and I wasn’t sure what to say, or how to say it… I started writing the letter just after I got off the phone at 9:30 and with few interruptions; I continued writing through until nearly 5:00… I had been up off and on throughout the night before with restlessness, a need to … Continue reading →

TweetI talked about you last night… It’s been a while since I let me do that… Instead I try to keep myself busy with others… I do not lay there and think about you in the morning anymore, mostly because I won’t let me… I don’t like that you believe that I am not part of you… I know you have decided to let go for the moment, I figured it would come to that at some point… I don’t like how comforting it was just having you in my energy, even when you chose not to be in my life… I just realized it today, while making coffee… I … Continue reading →

TweetRecently I met someone who was so amazing and wonderful *one of many really*… Though in this case this person chose friendship with me… We hit it off right away and talked for hours… We have hung out a few times *and talked for hours*, and really it was just so easy and fun to talk with him, that I was truly grateful he chose friendship over anything else… It’s one of those times where having the friend over a romantic connection means that you get to keep your friend and therefore the friendship is the better choice… So about a month ago he went on a trip overseas, the … Continue reading →

TweetI spent all day out in the sun walking around… I know this sounds wonderful, and really it was overall… It’s just that it took all day to do what normally takes about three maybe three and a half hours… When I say that, I am so not joking… I left the house at 9:15am… I went to an appointment in the morning that lasted under a half hour, and in a car is about 10 min from where I am currently living… I visited two banks, not staying for longer than 5 minutes in either, also about ten minutes by car, and two minutes apart… Even with the flirting … Continue reading →