Author Archives: Laaylah

TweetRecently I met someone who was so amazing and wonderful *one of many really*… Though in this case this person chose friendship with me… We hit it off right away and talked for hours… We have hung out a few times *and talked for hours*, and really it was just so easy and fun to talk with him, that I was truly grateful he chose friendship over anything else… It’s one of those times where having the friend over a romantic connection means that you get to keep your friend and therefore the friendship is the better choice… So about a month ago he went on a trip overseas, the … Continue reading →

TweetI spent all day out in the sun walking around… I know this sounds wonderful, and really it was overall… It’s just that it took all day to do what normally takes about three maybe three and a half hours… When I say that, I am so not joking… I left the house at 9:15am… I went to an appointment in the morning that lasted under a half hour, and in a car is about 10 min from where I am currently living… I visited two banks, not staying for longer than 5 minutes in either, also about ten minutes by car, and two minutes apart… Even with the flirting … Continue reading →

TweetI am here for you; this is me here for you… You know all those times you were absolutely positive you must be the most incredibly stupid person on the planet??? That moment when you look, after screaming where is it, and you are sure someone must have taken it, only to find it right where you left it??? You find your glasses on your head, after searching relentlessly for an hour… You mispronounce or misspell a common werd… Seriously I actually jabbed myself in the face the other day, so hard it bled… One of my favorites is when someone makes you laugh while drinking soda, and it shoots … Continue reading →

Tweet*Warning* Yes we are back here again, where I warn you that you proceed at your own risk, and once again I remind you that this is my diary and I will say what I choose… The phrase that comes to mind right this moment is; “another one bites the dust”… There is another saying that I firmly believe rings true more often than not… If you want to get over one, get under another… It’s not real pretty, and yet it works quite well; at least for me… I would like to add a bit of a contingency to that statement; it does make a difference that it is … Continue reading →

TweetJust Give Me A Reason… The truth about love… It is messy and yummy all at the same moment… How do you love??? Is it important that you like the person, or people that you love??? If you tell everyone you do not like the person or people, do you still love them??? Do you hide your feelings for that person by saying they are crap??? When you are angry do you talk shit about that person??? If there is a slamfest in honor of that love, are you the first to join in??? Do you date, love, marry someone who embarrasses you, whom you are embarrassed that you love, … Continue reading →

TweetSo explain what is all this about??? I mean really??? I ask my questions, I can tell the answers are light, and yet I slip into this space of worry and dread that it may not be true??? Of course it is true and once the energy settles, I will discover that there was no reason for worry or dread, that I was correct all along??? Why choose the other then??? What is it within me that I come from a place of not fully trusting and believing in me??? Is it me, or is it someone else, or something else??? Here is what I know… I know he likes … Continue reading →

TweetEpiphany…    e·piph·a·ny [ih-pif–uh-nee]  Show IPA noun, plural e·piph·a·nies. 3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience. Two years ago in August, I had this dream… It was an extremely powerful dream, different than any I had had up to this point *that I could remember*… I remember the details as if they were last night… I am in this room with this man that I do not know by physical features… We are making love; or what feels like we are * you know how dreams have a feeling more than physicality to them; you know you did something not because you see it but because you know*… Then it is the next day, and I am in this … Continue reading →

TweetIs rejection real??? Isn’t rejection just another form of victim??? How long are you going to embrace victim as a way of life??? I still have to ask myself this question often; I continue to attract this guy… He is absolutely sure he is being rejected simply through my choosing something else… If I come from a place of we attract what we put out; then it stands to reason, that I am putting out the energy of rejection… Each time I think I am done with victim, it shows up again in another form… Today it is through a lovely young man who is truly living rejection… He is … Continue reading →

TweetI love it here… It is only Thursday and I am looking for ways to make time slow down… The workshops I have been doing are just for fun… I figure with all the work I have been doing the last few months, I owe it to myself to have fun this week… So I have been learning henna, charms, and chanting… Today it is 84 degrees and sunny, although a bit humid, all the children are playing in the pond, and the teens are playing volleyball on the sandy shore… If I didn’t know better I would think this was the world of the ordinary, also known as the … Continue reading →

TweetWhat attracts you to another being??? Is it face??? Eyes??? Body??? Is it something else altogether??? I like things like height, my preference is a thicker type… Now I realize you probably think I mean muscular and such, don’t get me wrong that is lovely of course, however my attraction tends to be more with the hands… I love strength… I absolutely love when he is the strength and his hands guide me… When a man places his hand in the small of my back to walk me into a room or someplace; I feel soft, pretty, feminine… I love that… I was watching the movie Dirty Dancing the other … Continue reading →