Epiphany…
e·piph·a·ny
[ih-pif–uh-nee] Show IPA
noun, plural e·piph·a·nies.
3. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.
Two years ago in August, I had this dream… It was an extremely powerful dream, different than any I had had up to this point *that I could remember*… I remember the details as if they were last night… I am in this room with this man that I do not know by physical features… We are making love; or what feels like we are * you know how dreams have a feeling more than physicality to them; you know you did something not because you see it but because you know*… Then it is the next day, and I am in this room with windows into a hall, there is a bed in the room and a man comes in… I go to him instantly knowing it is the same man; I put my arms around him and start to be intimate with him… He stops me and says “no, you are not ready”… I reply “but we already”… He says “no, we didn’t”… “Yes we did last night” I say… He shakes his head and says “no, we didn’t, you are not ready”… I continue to argue, and he says, “Its ok I am not going anywhere, I am here when you are ready, I am right here waiting for you”… Then I fall asleep on him, and the dream ends…
A couple days later I had the opportunity to ask about this dream, and to explain how it felt so very real to me… I asked if this was a real person, and was this my love??? The answer was yes, this was very real, and a communication from my sacred love… A love that I have called in from beyond to be my sacred love in this life… That we would meet soon… I realize very few believe as I do in things such as this, and honestly I am ok with that… You have a right to your own beliefs, as do I… For me this was such a powerful affirmation of my knowing that I could not ignore it… I could not stop thinking about it, I could not stop talking about it, and I could not stop dreaming about it… Soon??? When was soon??? How do I get to soon??? I firmly believe soon should be an actual place and time;
3:45 pm,
06/24/2013
102 First Street,
Someplace, Overthere, 98765…
It would definitely make my life easier… Unfortunately for me it doesn’t work like this… Of course if you know me at all, you know I went about trying to get a more exact time, location, name… I have spent lots of time asking questions around this dream, and even more about this man… From does he look like the dream, is he this, is he that??? I have asked many many times where is he, only to have places pop into my mind… I would then ask around this place, and get that this is where he is??? I would then work to come up with ways to get there, to be in the path of this man… Though how do you put yourself in the path of a man from a dream??? If you do find him how do you know, let alone explain to him I met you in a dream???
“Hey mister, I know you are my sacred love, we met in this dream I had a couple years ago, you remember we were in that room and you said that thing, about that stuff”… Yeah, that ought to freak him out, lol… As if I am not already a total unique, let’s throw more into the mix… Whoever he is, he will definitely have to be a unique himself… Though look at how much fun all this will be… lol…
So in asking about the places in which this man was, I have often enlisted the assistance of friends… I honestly thought I was getting mixed signals from the information I was receiving… I have gotten he is close, and then I have gotten he was in another country… I have been in other countries only to have it say he was within two hours of me, and then that he was back here… Mind you when I would get these locations, I had confirmation that I was correct at that time… So you could see where I might not be so willing to jump on a plane to put myself in his way… I was told I needed to be in a crowd, and he would find me… I have had many situations in which I was guided to online dating, and then not… I have also been told he would be one of a few that could be and that it would be for him to make the choice… In other words, there would be three men that would show up, and connect with me on a level that could be this sacred love, each being a true possibility… At which point one would choose this type of union, and it will be… All these random things in order to find this one person amongst 7 billion others, some days holding the faith has a bit of a challenge… I cannot tell you how many times I have let go of hope all together, only to come back to it… I will not stop until he stands beside me… For me this man is my heart’s desire, and I will settle for nothing less than his whole heart…
I know that in the many lives I have lived, I have loved truly and profoundly in ways that I have not found in this life, as of yet… I know that there have been many loves throughout those lives, and that there are many others that could easily match the depth of my love, to bring about what would be considered a great and beautiful love… I know I am destined for a great and beautiful love… I know that the love I have called to me is someone I have loved before, and all along… I know that when it feels so familiar it is because it is familiar; it is activating my memory… This is not our first time and I know it will not be the last that we love…
I have been speaking with someone recently, and he is of course lovely… He says all the lovely things I like to hear, such as he has been thinking of me… He asks the things that are about me, and he answers the questions I ask in return… He has been giving real details of his life and so on… I know it sounds weird to use that term real details, though it seems often you get very few details of the person’s life… I am not sure if it because they are trying to keep from being exploited or trying to find out if you are worthy of their information, or maybe they think you are a stalker… Anyway it feels stunted, like they are not really willing to have a true relationship… I am a both feet in type person, if you would like to know me I am willing to share… I will tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly… I ask only that you do the same… Again I have found recently, that where I have thought I knew someone, I did not… When I do the math I can see now, that when I thought we were sharing and getting close, it was in truth only me… I have this way of feeling the being and knowing his/her heart, and though I can truly know your whole being, I overlook the details of the being living here, forgetting that most in this world choose not to remember, and thereby live only on the surface…
With all of this said, I was on a plane the other day when I had this epiphany… I am listening to Sarah Brightman, and thinking of this man… I am relating the songs to him, noticing how surprisingly comfortable it feels… He is leaving the morning, I arrive back in town which totally sucks, and we will not have time to meet before he leaves… When it dawns on me this person travels, and has been in the places I have known this love to be… What if this is him??? What if I was right all along and each of the places I was told he was, is in fact where he was at that moment??? What if soon, is now??? I of course started asking my questions, and I received the answers I hoped for… I started crying and laughing in response, my daughter looking at me a little weird *alright like I had grown three heads*… I must have laughed at this for about fifteen minutes… I have continued asking the same questions, making sure that I have eaten and drank water *each of these things can impact the clarity*… I have recently had deep connections with a couple people, so I cannot tell you this is really unusual, I can tell you that I find myself having to remember we have not met in this life and to take it slow… He speaks to me with a familiarity of words that does not feel out of place… How does it get better than that??? How could this be better than anything I could ever plan or imagine???
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSWJ_4OD9Sg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRdFy-xE07I