Author Archives: Laaylah

TweetUnderstand??? This is one of my least favorite and yet one of my most used words… How often I say I don’t understand… How often my thoughts are tied up in the understanding of the energy, the thoughts, or behavior of someone else… I just begin to think I understand what they mean or how they feel, and Wham!!! The energy shifts again… Recently I had been very sure, I mean very very sure of someone else’s feelings, I had been sure that this person was truly willing to be a part of my world, without judgment… I was finally beginning to relax from the needing to watch the signs, … Continue reading →

TweetYou know every day is a struggle to remember that even when I say something out of turn that it is who I am… I did this again the other day, I do not think I said anything that would harm, though I shared an inside joke, not realizing it might not be funny to someone else… I share, often too much, and other times not enough… I did not mean to share something I was not supposed to… I often remember to tell you I care but forget to say truths about what I see… Sometimes words come falling out of my mouth and it is only after the … Continue reading →

TweetGood Evening, I say that as if it is not already the wee hours of the night here in India… It is quite late, though today has been quite wonderful… I have been here two and half weeks… During my journey, as well as upon my arrival I was quite sick… I spent the first thirty six hours in my room mostly in bed not sleeping… By the time I called the front desk for assistance, I had not slept in 72 hours other than brief minutes on the planes… I could barely keep my eyes open and as I would begin to doze off, I would then start coughing … Continue reading →

TweetLet’s see where I am today… Today I am sitting here in my jammies, in shock of how different my life looks at this moment, verses six months ago… So many things have changed… So many things have changed that, had you told me six months ago this would be where I was, I doubt I would have believed you… In my world things change daily, and have done so to such an extreme for years… And yet this is so far beyond where I could have imagined… I have a job, a home, a car, stability, and all of this I have done for me… You have no idea … Continue reading →

TweetThe other day someone said to me that his ex of many years was his friend and any woman that wanted to be with him would have to accept that this is how it is, and that this will never change… If the new lady in his life was unable to accept this she would have to move on… This is not the only man who has made this statement to me; in fact it has not only been said to me, it has been said about me to others… My first instinct when this was said was to run, run like hell… I firmly believe each time it has … Continue reading →

TweetToday is the first day of 2014, the first day of a new year, the first day of the rest of our lives, the day that begins all the days that will follow…  I know it sounds terribly profound doesn’t it??? 😉 Today I am surprised; I met friends in a place I had not expected… I found smiles where I was sure I would not… Yes, there was some judgment, and yet who is to say it was not simply my judgment of me; projected onto someone I believe should judge me and not theirs at all… I am proud of me today; I did the best I could … Continue reading →

TweetHere comes the sun… I stood in the doorway watching the night sky… Look at all those stars… They are so beautiful… It was so clear… They sparkle, shimmer and blink… Wow they really blink??? As I watch they are setting off between each other lighting the night; like faerie lights… I thought I must be imagining it… Look it is a plane, and there is another… I counted five very fast planes crossing paths in the night’s sky, hmmm??? Are they planes at all; was the thought that crossed my mind??? They look like planes, though they are moving so fast??? They flash red and white like planes, yet … Continue reading →

TweetHave you ever received a Christmas wish??? I mean really received it??? I have… Last night I had a lovely friend over, and we were chatting and enjoying a visit… When my phone started to blow up with texts of Merry Christmas, quickly followed by; are you ok??? Lol… As I am sure you already know, this is simply a call to brace yourself, something you are not going to like has just come about in the universe tonight…. Seriously what would you think I would do??? Jump from the highest building??? Drink poison in the most dramatic fashion??? Crumble into a million tiny little fragments never to be seen … Continue reading →

TweetToday I would like to share about a sweetness that walked into my life over 22 years ago… A cuddle Bug from the first day I met her… She would lie on me for hours as a baby… She used to climb into bed with me and snuggle up on the weekends, and sometimes in the middle of the night… She did this until she was about fourteen… I would tickle her and listen to her lovely laugh and screams to stop, and then I would tell her she was my pillow, and I would fluff her up… We have been through a great deal her and I… Divorces, packing, … Continue reading →

TweetEach day I am here I have struggles… Some more significant than others… Though I am the one to make them significant, to make them difficult; for whatever reason I have chosen for any particular one I am working through at any given moment… There is never a time that I cannot look to my friends and smile, even when I sit smack dab in the center of the puddle of gloom; I know that if I choose to, I can turn to my friends and find the laughter, the joy, or the comical side of this life…  I have been blessed so deeply, I have been gifted far far … Continue reading →