Good morning,
I feel like chatting today… I am not sure what about… I simply would like to ramble a bit over coffee… It is a gorgeous day out, maybe I will go and play in the sun???
I realize this sounds weird, and I am ok with it… I miss having someone to share with… I miss that random stuff you say when you are having a good day, and a not so good day… I miss that sending of brief messages that you know the other will get, because they totally get you… I was chatting with a friend last night on the ins and outs of what you say to a potential date… How do you stay true to yourself, and still be what is required to get someone to look past the initial interaction??? Do you think there is such a thing as a relationship in which you can share all of you??? I had said that “I am tired of having pieces of me spread out in all of these different types of relationships, and that I really would like to have someone who is really willing to know all of me… “And does that exist??? The reply was “no” *cringe*, I in turn replied then “it’s not worth it, I am not staying if there isn’t”… Really, that is so not true for me… I cannot do this reality without the hope of finding; true, deep, real, communion of relationship… I do not require certificates, vows, or even promises, in order to validate love… I do require a connection that is beyond what I have known… I have been very lucky up to this point in the relationships I have had, that have brought me to this point… I say this even with the ones most would consider having turned out badly; some of those awful relationships taught me more about me, than the good ones… They still boggle my mind, and yet they brought me more clarity…
That being said; I know there is something so much more than I can put words to… I hold faith, I hold hope, I dream of the day I will meet this man, and the joyful expansion of it… The knowing this person sees me, truly sees me, and cannot wait to know more, to see me smile, laugh, play, cry, fall apart, whatever I be in that moment, and I for him…
How does it get even better than that???