Let me see where am I in the scheme of things if I were in February??? I am in Portland and still missing home, and yes I do feel like Darlington is more my home than here…Mostly because I know who I am there, even when I do not like what I am, I know her… One of my friends mentioned recently that maybe I should change my facebook home location if I were not returning soon…. Am I returning soon???I think only the Gods know what I will be doing, for now it is in my heart and therefore my home…
Here in Portland it is very difficult not to fall back into the habit of the person I used to be… How do you remember that it is not your job to be all the things other people have used to define your life??? Mother, partner, daughter, friend??? what does all that mean, and how do I show you that I am those things in an entirely different way now??? Why when you need something do I jump to my feet and do everything in my power to get it for you??? Why when I am here do I feel that it is my job, not just that I think it is my job, I feel like you think it is my job??? If I were somewhere else I could sit and allow you to get it for yourself, I could allow you to empower yourself… Why is it, I use all this to define me??? You cannot define me, but more than that I need no definition!!! I am, therefore I am!!!