It is very clear!!!

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It is very clear that the person I used to be is conflicting with the person I am today… What I would have chosen two years ago, is not something I would choose today… Have you ever stood in a room full of people that you know and felt like a complete stranger??? Absolutely everyone knows your name, though few can see you??? Have you ever discovered that things you really used to enjoy you do not any longer??? Did I like them because my friends did??? Did I eat that because someone else liked it??? Do I dress for you or for me??? For me it feels like everything about me has changed and the more I try to be what I used to be the more I just want to run for the hills… I don’t want to harm anyone, I do not want to change anyone, I simply want to be allowed to be who I am without having to justify who that is, in every moment… What difference does it make to you or to me that at one point I did not like caramel and yet today that is what I want??? Why has all this become significant, why is it I keep hearing things like “well you always choose this, you always do this”???  I do not always anything, I am ever changing in every moment with every interaction… How do you change everything about you and yet allow the world you used to be a part of to go on, without you??? How do you remember that though that world continues it does not make you an outsider??? That is the key isn’t it??? Allowing both to be, even though they clash???