LOL…
Oh my I was really mad in the morning, I had someone give me a ridiculous job to do right in the center of a very important one… It set my morning a blaze, I really try not to be rude, snotty, condescending, and angry while in a professional setting… Not that my temper has not flared and gotten me in trouble before; I just make an effort to conceal it in that setting… It shows again how long I have been out of a setting like this as to what I am willing to say and do now… I simply told this person I did not have time to do his job for him… I may have been quite harsh in my tone, though I left absolutely no room for discussion… This is very out of character for me, I generally say ok, even when I know I cannot do it, and bring the stress down upon me while trying… So it was an amazing shift in that respect… I am still just a bit surprised I did not get in trouble for it… Everyone today was business as usual, and all was fine… Whew!!! This is not my forever job, obviously writing is, however it would be lovely to keep it for a while…
So I got to leave work early for an appointment, too many hours this week already… This worked out great for me to see the first of the two friends who are doing readings for me this week… Trust me after the mini readings on Sunday I am hoping for much better news, especially around love… I have been seeing this lady H for many years, about six-ish… She was the one I was working with when I chose to move to the UK… We have done so many readings that it would be difficult to say everything that has come to be since…
Three years ago I lay on the floor in her office visualizing my future… Ten years specifically, on this day of visualizing, I remember that the vision was in this beautiful house, my house in England, and I was just in from the horses… There was a scenario that played out in the kitchen, and I had people come to the door… She followed me through this vision and asked questions of what I saw; I would describe what was playing out… Where I was what I had been doing, what was going on in my life… I would tell her that I was on book five, and that I spent my days writing and riding, I saw my daughter and my grandson, and she had asked if I was in relationship and it was clear that I was, she had had a bit of frustration with me calling in the man… He was there though he was not clear in image… When we were done she told me what she had seen… Very similar yet details such as the people at the door were there for merchandising contracts… This was my home and I had lived there a while, and she had asked why the clarity around the man was so restrained and my response was that I was hesitant to lock in an actual person, in case that one would not come… It still is a bit of a weird place for me, not to have the choice when he arrives… I knew I would know his energy, and I have had a basic framework clothing style and such different images around him…
I later had a dream about a man… This was a real man connecting with me in a dream; someone sent from far away, and yet beside me through this journey I have had the last few years… This dream starts with what feels like a sexual experience and then turns to the next day where he is walking in, and I go to him again in a way that feels sexual… He stops and says no, he does not let go of me he simply halts that action… I am shocked in this and say but we already… He looks into my eyes and says no we didn’t you’re not ready… Yes I am, no he repeats you’re not… After a bit more of this argument, he firmly says No you are not ready… I am here and I will be here when you are… There were many times while I was in England that this man lay beside me in what I can only describe as physical warmth and yet no one but I knew he was there… I remember being in awe of how incredibly real it felt, as if he were physically wrapped around me…
Obviously I have been in search of this man for years, and I have had many readings on love… I have amazing readings, really… H especially tells me no one has readings like mine, she says it is amazing to watch unfold… I am like, lots of money, fame, success, writing, books, movies, blah blah blah, what about the guy??? She always has this almost disbelief that I cannot see how amazing this is… I have cards that come up almost every time, and then others that vary… I see it, though for me without the friendship, the deep connection, the love, it doesn’t seem fulfilling… I know through her and through my journey of the last few years what I am here to do, I have no doubt it will all come to be… I am an amazing writer, and my stories will be read all around this planet, and I do not take that lightly my heart is completely engaged in it… I am beyond honored to have been given this gift and all that follows… All that being said, love is who I am…
So I am sure you have guessed my questions when I arrive to see H this time… They are on love; however they are a bit differently worded this time… As my real questions stemmed around trust, my trust, my trust in me… I explained through tears the shift since India, and the light issue with people not seeing me anymore, and she asks why do you think this is??? Still in tears I say I have changed; she laughs and says but you have been asking for this, and working for this, why are you crying??? Laughing through tears I shrug… We go through several cards readings about love and the changes in me, as well as speaking with my guides… I explain that when people are talking to me, I can tell if it is true now… Truth does change as everything does, what may be true for you today may not be true tomorrow… I can feel the truth, when you tell me something, I know… So strange, last year someone was telling me all these lovely things that I so wanted to hear, and I thought they were true… Only to find it was a mask for a whole other game… And in the past week I have been literally stopped in my tracks in awe of the truth around words lately… If you have been around me over the last few years you would be aware that I am careful with this term I know… Because I know it has power, so when I say to you I know, I do…
They *my guides* confirmed the shift and the questions I had been asking, they confirmed that where I had found truth in one moment and then it was gone was by choice of the one speaking the words… To watch and give it time… My cards confirmed love is about, that these next couple months will show more than I have seen before… They said that there may be many all ready to step up and fulfill this place for me… Funny enough I have been asked several times this week by friends, including by H if I would like to be set up with their friend??? The funniest part of this is I have been asking them for years and now, all at once they are open to it… You have to laugh, when it rains it pours… Clearly I have moved into ready…
This is all in keeping with a reading I had in January with my other friend S, she told me the energies around love would open as I got towards June, that this is when my Saturn returns would end, and that I would feel warm again… I have an appointment with her this weekend, oh how excited I am…
How could this be better than anything I could ever plan or imagine???