May was far from an easy month… Though it seemed mild and easy… We had the eclipse starting all the energies flowing and fussing everything up again… So many of my relationships turned topsy turvy this month….
You know how you have these people in your life that are so everyday, and have been for so long that you don’t really even realize they are there… Not the ones you go to see, or visit with… Not even the ones you are close with and consider when you are thinking of those you love… These are the people that have faded into the woodwork of your life… The ones far into the background, the ones that shape our lives and are rarely seen, we know they are there annoying the situations, or being that constant reminder of why you don’t just leap and jump into stuff, you may actually make a jump or leap that will connect you, bind, tie you to this person for a lifetime through an action that lasts just a moment… Well for me several of these began to dissipate in the month of May…
I realize that this sounds like a good thing, however as much as I would have to say that it is/was a good thin,g it was also so incredibly hard to realize that feeling of having them about was gonna leave, was gonna stop being… What if it was so much a part of me that I couldn’t exist without it??? What if they forgot me, and everything I had been??? Granted these beings had not thought nice things of me in a very longtime, if at all??? If they are no longer a part of me, I would never have the chance to change that again…
We like to say that we get closure, or that I am over him/her, that was so yesterday… Do we ever truly get over them??? Is it really possible to get closure and move on??? Aren’t these beings forever a part of who you are and have become??? When a similar situation comes up with a new person in your life don’t you stop even if it is ever so briefly, and consider the choice and the outcome reflected from the original??? I know I do, I also pat myself on the back when I find I have made a far healthier choice than the original…
The empty space left from beings that had been in my life so far back as I could remember, felt the size of the Grand Canyon… My natural instinct was to try and fill it back up again…