Which would you choose??? Each has its merits, and its downside…
With dating there are all the things you can and cannot do… You cannot wear sweat pants on a date, well not and expect a second date, and if you get a second don’t be surprised if you end up in the drive thru at the local fast food place… You have to be understanding even when you don’t understand… You have to agree that he can go out with the guys on that one night you set up a romantic dinner for you both, because he needs his guy time *no worries we can do it next week hunny, it’s really no trouble at all*… You must listen and talk and laugh at all the right times… It is unacceptable to have any body functions other than smiling and nodding during a dating relationship, even during sleepovers, so at the slightest chance you jump and run to the bathroom down the hall and flush if it is going to be, well loud… You must wake at like 6 am during sleep overs to brush your hair, you’re your teeth, and either wash off or apply new make up to your face, because there is no way he can see you looking as you truly do with raccoon eyes and the most creative hair possible, and don’t forget your breathe is always minty fresh… Your house must always be clean, because you never know when he will pick you up at the door; not that I have had anyone do that since I was a teenager; and even then it was rare… But just in case, it must be tidy; and there is always that chance this will be sleepover night… You have to dress nicely and different all the time… Heaven forbid he see you in the same outfit twice in a month… Your hygiene must be top level at least for the first year, at which point all the gloves come off, so I have noticed… After the first year is when you get to see the more truthful side of who you are dating… You are not allowed to speak of other relationships; in fact it is best if you have never had another relationship… Just be the prissy virgin we all know you are and if the subject of children comes up you can explain by saying; I am a descendant of the Mother Mary, you do understand the concept of Immaculate Conception right??? Then you can do that little shrug thing and pull a face and say, I was lucky enough to have it happen twice, they are still doing research on it and I had to sign a gag order, so that is really all I can tell you…
Now if this relationship goes well; yes this one built on half-truths; then you get some of the fun parts as well… Like you have someone to have dinner with, hopefully more than you don’t… You have someone to take to couples night, and to meet up with all your married friends; you know so you don’t look like a total loser anymore… All your friends stop asking what tragedy befell the last guy you went out with… You have sleep overs, and someone to wake up to at least occasionally… You have a built in pillow/foot warmer *at least during sleep overs*… You have someone to tell about your day and you have someone who tells you about his… You have a friend, someone who wants to know who you really are… Did I mention you have sleepovers??? You have someone who finds you attractive, even when your hair has been its most creative… You have someone to cuddle up to, and to sleep on… You have this unexplained place of peace in the knowing that you can truly sleep and not worry… You have a playmate, someone you can tell your innermost fantasies, and you can share the intimacy that comes with relationship… If it all goes well that is… Oh wait I don’t want to forget to mention sleepovers…
Then there is the hit and run, and the famous booty call… There are upsides to these things, as well as downsides… You know like that one guy that was around because he was friends with the guy your friend was dating and despite that you didn’t really like him, he was there in the moment; kind of an upside, in the, it took care of an immediate issue sort of way… Downside you run into him in a diner years later and he looks at you half cocks his head and says “I know you right; you were friends with that girl… Did we … uh you know???” You look at him with the same half cocked look and a face that says clearly if we did you would remember and say “uhhh No”??? Walking away, whew!!! Upside you can be anyone you choose, downside so can he… You can meet up at hotels and be the screamer you have always wanted to be, and if he is doing his job well, there won’t be anyone for a mile radius that doesn’t know it… You can say things to a hit and run you would never say out loud to that special someone you hope to keep around… Let’s not forget nails, I have discovered having my nails done with shellac, means never having to say you’re sorry, because you drew blood… Then there is friends with benefits, you know that one guy you call when all the others are, either out on date night without you, or you do not want to seem too easy, this is the guy you call because you have had this thing for a while and it is easy, he takes care of the immediate issue, and leaves no residue behind… Nothing to clean up, no residual feelings unexplored… Downside there is no true release like there is when you come together as one… Upside there is no clean up, no cooking breakfast, no worrying about how you look in the morning… Downside this guy is dressed as soon as you go to get a glass of water, a kiss, a mutual confirmation that was great, and an agreement not to wait that long again… Upside he is willing to show up anytime; Down side he often has some where better to be, or he is a total workaholic that cannot even find time for this… Sometimes both…
If it is up to me, I have had enough of the hit and run, booty call guy for a lifetime… I would love to have that one guy that I could give my heart to, that one guy that makes you feel there could be no other… How could it be even better than that???