Is there something you refuse to let yourself have??? Is it because you don’t desire it, or because if you did have it you would never let it go???
For example; say you tell yourself you do not like sweets… You are fitness conscious, you know that your body prefers not to have these things, or is it that if you were to allow sweets into your world regularly, that you would crave them all the time and that would change your body in a way that no longer allowed you to control how it appears???
Sometimes I think it is what we won’t let ourselves have that is the true addiction, an addiction to control, to holding it all together… That person you refuse to bring into your life because he/she would be just for you… Making you selfish, changing your life, making you admit that you would choose for you, over what is right… What is right??? What is wrong??? What if the person you truly be; is the one that is out of control, living in the blissful ambiguity of life??? Not having to know what your family thinks, not having to make sure you choose relationships for your children, letting it be ok that no one else understands why you choose this person, even though they do not fit in the box, where you have always live in???
Having been one of the founding members’ of control freaks anonymous, I speak from experience when I say, it is not an easy task to get past the knowledge of what others think of your choices, and yet when I truly choose for myself; it is such an empowering feeling and so much more joyful experience than those I have chosen for what someone else would have me choose…
What would you choose today for you and no one else???