Access Consciousness classes, Whoo Hoo, How does it get better??? I am hosting classes this week, I am excited about it, we had quite a wonderful crowd yesterday, I wonder who will choose to be here today??? We were asked to take a snapshot of where we were on entering the class and then where we were at the end??? I am gonna do a bit of that here..,
As you know I am not in a relationship, and I would really like to be, I enjoy having someone to spend time with, someone to talk to, to share with… I took an 8 month hiatus between the last and this excursion into the dating world, and it is very easy to see the difference now, between where I was upon landing in the UK in September 2011, and now… The choices I make for me now are very different from a year ago… I noticed when I arrived back in the UK for the second time in July 2012, the difference in the people I was meeting, as well as the ones I would have been interested in dating… Some part of me simply could not find the energy to date the second time around, so anyone who may have been a candidate, ended in the friend zone… Clearly, as much as I like to say they did not choose me, I did not choose them either…
There was also the healing from being with a partner a longtime, it matters not how or why it ended, there is still the grief of loss… I think it is very unlikely anyone goes into marriage saying, this will be over shortly… As much as I have come to see how important it is to stay out of expectations, I had many when I married, forever was one of them… If you ask me now it is still one of my favorite memories, it was so much fun, and really I have the best friends, and in my marriage I found family in ways I had not experienced… So ending it was no easy decision, it involved so many hearts, so many expectations that would not come to light… It was of course what was right for me, and it was time that it be about me… I have much to be in this life, and I will be it for me… I am beyond happy that he has found someone who shares his likes, and dreams… She makes him smile in ways I have not seen before, and for this I am grateful, as well as confirmed in my decision… He is a lovely amazing man, with a heart that is true, he deserves and is worthy of a great and beautiful love… It is easy to see that they belong together, how lucky are they???
I have also noticed a very different type of choice in the beings I have chosen to meet through dating, mind you there have only been two, and mind you I am not for the faint of heart, so the first fled rather rapidly… I have been asked questions that I have never been asked before, even by my friends… Questions that were not only thoughtful, they were asked with a true desire to know… It triggered a bit of a why do you want to know response; it was so foreign to me… I had no idea how to answer or even how much I really desired to answer this question out loud… It also pulled my full attention, in that way that freaks guys out… How do you remain true to yourself, while only revealing little pieces of who you are, so as not to freak people out??? Someone asked me recently what do you mean you are a strong energy??? lol… How do you describe that??? It has been explained to me in different ways, this is the one that I can express easily… I have such clarity of what it is I would like in my life, that when it captures my attention, I am like a radar type focus, putting those in the scope of the radar in the hot seat… So it has been expressed that I have many places to put my attention, thereby allowing more ease around those in my focus… LMAO… That sounds less than flattering…
I took these classes two years ago, and they changed my whole life, I am so not the person I was then… I am so much more willing to have you judge me and not have it matter… I would love to tell you that I am past it all together, though it still comes into my space… What would it take for that to no longer be the case??? So here we are at the beginning of another set of classes, I am excited to see the differences in me… What would it take for this to be better than anything I could ever plan or imagine???