Have you ever noticed, or should I ask; have you ever met someone you already knew??? That person that you know you have not met before, though something in the way they stand, or smile, hold them self… Maybe it is something in the eyes??? The eyes are often the answer… The eyes show far more than people know, you can see love, depth, cruelty, joy, and a universe of other things right there in the eyes…
I went to a CS gathering last night; lots more people than I imagined would be there… Not that I didn’t think there would be people there considering there are a minimum of 10,000 couch surfers in the Portland area… I cannot tell you that I like going to events on my own, where I know, no one… Though that is what I have been trying to do… Break out of my shell, open up a new life…
I have been guided to take notice when it is time to act, and though I do not like crowds, trying to hear over the masses, or introducing myself to strangers… I continue to get hits of things I should do… As well as having been told outright that I need to do things out of my routine… Last night when I arrived at Kennedy School I drove around the parking lot, that was covered in the ice at least seven times looking for a place to park, absolutely no spaces open… So I told the powers that be, if you would like me to go to this event you will need to open a parking space for me, I will circle one last time no spaces and I will take it as a sign to go home… Seriously, I did not see anyone leave, and as I rounded the corner there was a spot; I parked and went in…
Now what you should know is; I often get to this point and I am not willing to put myself on display, so just before I get to whatever event it is, I turn and run… It is actually quite funny… If you were to ask my friends of my personality they say things like confidence, outgoing, open, warm, etc… And though these things are true they are not my first impression; I begin with shy, people watching, distant, so basically what appears as stuck up… I can see others reactions to me, I can feel the welcome and the triggers… For instance I had just stepped into the bar area and there was a girl that took one look at me and rolled her eyes, only after I spoke with several people around her did she decide she would speak to me, and then she walked off… This type thing always makes me wonder why someone would choose to be that unhappy???
When I went on into where the majority were gathered; it wasn’t but a minute before I met someone from the UK, she was very sweet and genuinely excited to be meeting people… Turns out her parents live very close to where I was living in Darlington… She and I went on to speak with several others over the next hour or so… Which round about brings me back to the being I was speaking of earlier…
The night before this event I was reading the comments of the event, and looking into the profiles of the people who would be attending… There were a few people looking for hosts, while they were here in town… So I looked over the references they had, and decided I would offer to host one of them, had they not found someone to stay with before the event… One particular person, had pictures of himself cable climbing trees, on the trapeze, and labeled permaculture…
I realize how judgmental this sounds, and yet it is my belief that permaculture is simply a hoyty toyty way to be a hippie… While spending time with many who have participated in this program, I have found that it is simply another limiting belief system… I am all for healing the earth, recycling, conscious living… Though as soon as you start to make comment about not enough, or this isn’t good, or that is bad for you, don’t use that, only use this… You have created limitation good or bad limitation is limiting… The universe has all the capabilities of healing, expanding, opening this planet to a place of love and abundance; there is no room for limitation of any kind… *stepping off of my soap box*
Anyway, I had sort of made a judgment *ok I totally did* about him before I got there, yet I was willing to see how the energy felt when I arrived, and if guided to, I would offer to host… This person was easily picked out of the crowd… He has a stance that is unique, and a definite presence in the room, his energy didn’t feel hoyty toyty at all… Which surprised me, the good kind of surprised… At one point he picked up a bunch of coats in order to sit and speak with us; very interesting… He was shortly surrounded by several females vying for his attention… From the sounds of it one said I want you to tell me more about *something*, we have lots in common… I got the energetic hit that he had been trying to step away from that conversation; though not successfully… My conversations ended and I took my leave… I have to say that this person has been on the mind since last night, and has even entered my sleeping dreams… They are telling me this is not done… He is not new, and that he had come to find out more about me… He can see light, and even more he knows what it is… That is very unusual…?